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I knew whenever Carol and I would be in the same room that everyone felt uneasy; I didn't want that. I still cared for her, after all we were married forty-two years. My feelings for her didn't just vanish.I belonged to AAA and went and talked with their travel department. I knew they had trips all the time, at least every other week. I started by going on one day trips and tours. I asked about going by myself and they told me it was no problem. Everyone was very friendly. I would probably meet a lot of new friends.I tell you about a few of my trips and tours. They became the highlight of my life.My first trip I went to the Football Hall of Fame. It had been a long time since I had seen it. I then took in a number of stage performances and musical acts. I was really enjoying myself and did meet a lot of new people. I often thought how much better it would have been if Carol would have enjoyed the same things I did.I met a number of women and we became friends. Once they found out I. Having this group of helpful people had left me free to isolate on specific problems, and concentrate on finding good solutions for them. It was the way I preferred, because it allowed me blocks of time to really think about one thing.In Alabama, I kept finding myself more distracted, my thinking time interrupted and fragmented. This left me unable to enjoy any long, uninterrupted, periods of time, periods where I could lose myself in thought.Joyce was the main person who took it upon herself to make sure I wasn't being disturbed. She was able to do that by being there, to take care of things that people would normally be disturbing me about. Without her around to be a buffer for me, I was operating at a much lower level of efficiency.Perhaps I'd just gotten spoiled, always expecting that I'd have that kind of freedom to work on my problems. All I knew was that I didn't feel like I was getting as much accomplished as I should, and I was starting to resent having to spend so much time.
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